Marriage is as a long-term investment as you can imagine. It’s no Bitcoin, apartment or a car. We are talking 70 years here – it’s hardcore every way you look at it. You want it to be good, right?
We have picked the best advice for couples, married and engaged, to make sure they have a lasting marriage.
As a stand-up comedian Owen Benjamin puts it:
‘They are all crazy. If you think it gets better after you leave – it doesn’t. Everyone you meet will have their own ‘perks’.
In simple terms, your only option (with reason) is to stay and learn to deal through issues in your marriage.
Make time for dates
A question for married couples: when was the last time you went on dates? Dr. Jordan Peterson, a professor in behavioral psychology in the University of Toronto, says you have to spend at least 2 times a week going out on dates with your partner.
If you haven’t done it in a while, Peterson adds that ‘it may feel weird, and it’s ok. After a couple of times you will rediscover the reasons you fell in love in the first place’.
’I’m Sorry’ are Words of Strength
The author of ‘The Five Love Languages’ Gary Chapman has the whole book about getting to know your spouse and keeping your marriage in shape but in an interview he did for his other book, he did emphasize the importance of learning to apologize.
Don’t think it is a sign of weakness. It’s actually the other way around.
Team v Individual
The lovely and remarkable FLOTUS Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama, could teach us all something about marriage – just from learning to handle 8 years in the White House. But one of the best tips she has given on marriage is about having a common goal.
In the end, you are playing for the same team – stop counting individual scores and stand by each other selfishly.
Remember Who you Are
Lastly, we want to add one from ourselves. Reaching for a common goal does not mean you have to abandon all your own personal ambitions, you just have to balance them out.
Don’t forget who you are or what you want to achieve. You will only hate your spouse for that if you lose your ambition.